Dear Blog, well...
recently, it has been an up and down roller-coaster ride for me, and the thing is i hate roller-coaster ride, freaking-ly i ride alone this time, not sure why and what is going on, but it just feel unlikely friendly to me, friends, family, what else, almost everything just fight me and lie or fake, i meet a lot faker's lately, the unexpected one is the one i think should be fine, but as you see, nono.. as i see, i think the person should be nice and friendly, i guess i see it wrong, i think...
it just doesn't connect somehow, and it became, distanced for both of us, we start up very fine actually, but end up like the others, from this point i have been thinking should i or should not, change myself to bland in, sound horrifies and yes it is, i have done very well to make myself a better person, but this came along, is it a task or test for me to prove am i strong enough to, i don't know... do something for better? i think...
anyway, the thing is am i going to change myself for them? this has been and will be, a question for.. well.. at least this life i'm living now... all this happen i just ended up, not to trust anybody, but yourself ( me ) thingy in my head now, not even a close friend, family or well knowing me for some ages, it will happen anytime, when they turn you back and kick you out from the top of the building and let you fall, is very hard to find a person that really understand or just listen to me be my listener thingy, but this will never stopping and giving up to find, because i believe in myself, some day the person, the special person, will appear in-front of me and... and... do something nice... i guess... we cant tell the future right, so just let it be naturally... emmm... do thingy... thing... naturally...
ok, now is 3:07AM and i know what else i gonna do, and that is going to bed, and wake up in a new bright day, and smile to myself and say, positive is the key of everything, so here i wish every person in the world to have a great good night and sweet dreams.
it just doesn't connect somehow, and it became, distanced for both of us, we start up very fine actually, but end up like the others, from this point i have been thinking should i or should not, change myself to bland in, sound horrifies and yes it is, i have done very well to make myself a better person, but this came along, is it a task or test for me to prove am i strong enough to, i don't know... do something for better? i think...
anyway, the thing is am i going to change myself for them? this has been and will be, a question for.. well.. at least this life i'm living now... all this happen i just ended up, not to trust anybody, but yourself ( me ) thingy in my head now, not even a close friend, family or well knowing me for some ages, it will happen anytime, when they turn you back and kick you out from the top of the building and let you fall, is very hard to find a person that really understand or just listen to me be my listener thingy, but this will never stopping and giving up to find, because i believe in myself, some day the person, the special person, will appear in-front of me and... and... do something nice... i guess... we cant tell the future right, so just let it be naturally... emmm... do thingy... thing... naturally...
ok, now is 3:07AM and i know what else i gonna do, and that is going to bed, and wake up in a new bright day, and smile to myself and say, positive is the key of everything, so here i wish every person in the world to have a great good night and sweet dreams.
